Looking Back Moving Forward
Having reached Grief Relief’s first Facebook Anniversary, I’ve been reflecting on the past year. It has been a huge learning for me with obstacles, challenges and frustrations to overcome but there have also been significant gains from having got through it. Much like navigating the passage of grief through uncharted territory.
I’ve been reminded of how momentous a first anniversary can be after the loss of someone or something important. Anniversaries are a good time for reflection and a valuable process which informs us. It requires looking back and reviewing where we’ve come from, where we are now and what’s transpired in between. It might include such things as what we’ve overcome, what we’ve learnt, what’s changed, how we’ve grown etc.
Writing about it, as I am now, is one way of going about the process of reflection, talking to someone you trust who is a good listener is another. So, this blog is more about me and my reflections on this past year, but it also shows how you can do this for yourself with own circumstances. Thankfully, I didn’t lose anyone to attain this anniversary, but I did have to let go of some of my ideas and attitudes.
Firstly, I had to relent on my long-standing resistance to Facebook. Valuing my privacy, I was strongly opposed to having my personal life on public display. That, together with scepticism over its so-called ‘privacy’, a valid concern given the breaches of Facebook data during the last year, made it a no-go zone for me.
I gradually came around to the idea that I could do Facebook if it was for the business and not me personally, one degree of separation at least. Given I am closely entwined with the business, I’m not sure my thinking was entirely sound however it helped me move forward.
Secondly, fear was a factor. Having a presence on Facebook meant I couldn’t hide in the shadows any longer. It meant standing in the light and being exposed, open to scrutiny. Scary! Making a success of Grief Relief is what I really wanted yet it had been playing second fiddle to other employment. It was time to give it my full attention and best shot at success. As Susan Jeffers wrote ‘Feel the fear and do it anyway’. So, I did.
This first year has been a mixed bag. It was bewildering, to begin with, like being in a maze. Having to overcome resistance and fear to even get started, I was then overwhelmed and frustrated by what and how much I didn’t know. I’m very thankful for the support I had from my social media manager who took care of the many background tasks and to her credit, I’ve now gained the skills and confidence to largely manage the page myself.
There have been a few setbacks, the most significant being Facebook changing the goal posts. The impact of this was 2/3rds of my audience dropped off as Grief Relief’s posts weren’t going into followers Newsfeeds. I’m happy to report though that with perseverance, audience numbers are building up again.
I’ve felt both disappointment and surprises over the posts themselves. Disappointment when, what I thought were, substantial posts have been overlooked while being surprised at the popularity of others. Unfortunately, I don’t have a predictive tool for what’s going to resonate with others. I just trust my intuition.
Some of the learnings about myself have been validating and liberating.
I’m learning to trust that I know enough about life, loss and grief to do this and appreciate how much my own trials and tribulations contribute to what I know.
I’m finding my ‘voice’ as I get more comfortable writing in the public domain. Along with authenticity, I’m also finding a level of personal disclosure that I’m comfortable with while being enough for you to connect and identify with.
A change in the approach to writing posts has made a world of difference. For most of the time, the approach has been ideas first and images to complement. This often felt like going into battle, my brain isn’t geared this way.
The change of approach happened quite by chance… or higher design. I came across a sculpture which resonated with me and knew I wanted to write about it. I didn’t know what I was going to say but it all unfolded and fell into place naturally and easily.
So now I start with an image, one which takes my ‘eye’, and trust that the words will come, and they do. Given I’m a visual person, working in this way has added greatly to the ease and enjoyment of writing the posts with the bonus of reconnecting with photography.
So, having gone through this process of looking back and reviewing where I was a year ago and where I am now, I can see there has been a lot of growth through the learning of skills, knowledge and personal insight.
What was at the beginning a daunting and difficult task has become manageable over time with practice and familiarity. You could say the same for most things in life, grief included.